凯文和小老虎哈贝

1986.01.13-1986.01.19

（Calvin, pass this note to Jessica. It's a secret note, so don't read it. Calvin you stinkhead: I told you not to read this. Susie.）
『卡尔文，把这纸条传给杰西卡』
『要保密哦，不许偷看』
“卡尔文你个臭坏蛋，说了不让偷看的 ——苏茜”

（That dirty Susie Derkins. She'll be sorry if she tries to pass another note. Psst ... Calvin! Pass this secret note to Jessica, okay? Teacher! Susie's passing notes! Take this away and read it in front of the class! "Dear Jessica, you know what I hate about Calvin? He's a squealer! Signed, Susie." I hope you know a good dentist, Susie ...）
『可恶的苏茜，下次再让我传纸条让你好看！』
『嗨……卡尔文，替我把这个秘密纸条传给杰西卡好吗？』
『老师！苏茜上课传纸条！快读给大家！』
“亲爱的杰西卡，知道我为什么讨厌卡尔文吗？因为他是个大喇叭！——苏茜”
『你最好找个好牙医，苏茜……』

（Now look! You got us sent to the principal's office! Gosh! Do you think we'll get paddled?? They can't paddle me! I'm a girl!! What's that got to do with it? Girls have more delicate heinies.）
『看你做的好事！这下咱俩都得去校长室！』
『天哪！他们不会揍我们吧？』
『他们不能打我，我可是个、女孩儿！！』
『女孩就怎么了？』
『女孩的屁股更娇嫩啊』

（Calvin, I don't want to be spanked! What if it goes on our academic transcripts? We'll be ruined! Sniff. Darn you Calvin!! You're gonna answer to my parents if I can't get my masters degree!）
『卡尔文，我可不想被打屁股』
『要是写到成绩单上就惨了』
『呜呜……』
『该死的卡尔文！！要是我拿不到硕士学位你得给我爸妈一个交代！』

（Calvin and Susie, would you come in my office please? It was all his fault Mr. Spittle! That's a lie! She started it! Are you going to spank us?? I'll never pass notes again! Don't spank us!! Waaahhhh!! I wish we were dead!! I hate this job.）
『卡尔文，苏茜，你们来一下』
『斯皮特先生，是他的错』
『她说慌！是她捣乱！』
『你不会打我们屁股吧？』
『我再也不传纸条了！别打我们屁股！！』
『哇～～～～！不活啦！！』
『我讨厌这工作』

（Now I want you both to pay better attention in class. Understood? Yes sir. Okay, you may return to your room now. Thank you Mr. Spittle. Calvin? You may return to your room. Calvin? The Zorg draws nearer Spiff sets his blaster on "medium well" ...）
『你们两个，以后上课认真点』
『好的先生』
『好，你们回教师去吧』
『谢谢您，斯皮特先生』
『开尔文，回去吧』
『开尔文？』
『佐格怪兽越来越逼近，斯皮夫把手里的武器调到了“中流激射”档……』

（It says here that "Religion is the opiate of the masses." ... what do you suppose that means? ... it means Karl Marx hadn't seen anything yet. What are you watching? Garbage. This show would insult a 6-year-old! And I should know. So why watch it? All the other shows are even worse! Why watch TV at all then? There's nothing to do. Nothing to do?! You could read a book! Or write a letter! Or take a walk! When you're old you'll wish you had more than memories of this tripe to look back on. Undoubtedly.）
『书上说“信仰不是大众的麻醉剂”……你觉得是什么意思？』
『说明卡尔马克思对一些情况认识不够……』
『看什么呢？』
『垃圾！这节目简直在侮辱六岁孩子的智商！我就知道！』
『那为什么还看它呢？』
『反正也没什么别的事可做』
『没别的事可做？你可以看看书、谢谢信、或出去走走啊！』
『等你老了你肯定不希望记忆里能翻出来的都是些这样的废话』
『确实如此』

1986.01.06-1986.01.12

（All right class, who would like to give his book report first? Calvin, how about you? Calvin? Calvin? Spaceman Spiff cooly draws his death ray blaster ...）
『好，谁来大家讲讲自己的读书报告？』
『卡尔文，你先来？』
『卡尔文？』
『卡尔文？』
『宇航员斯皮夫冷静地掏出死亡射线枪……』

（2 + 7 = I cannot answer this question, as it is against my religious principles. It's worth a shot.）
『2 + 7 = ？』
『这道题我答不了，因为它违背了我的信条』
『不过可以试试』

(Hobbes, what do you think happens to us when we die? I think we play saxophone for an all-girl cabaret in New Orleans. So you believe in heaven? Call it what you like.)
『霍布斯，我们死后会怎么样？』
……
『会在奥尔良的夜总会为女孩子们吹萨克斯』
『这么说你相信有天堂？』
『你想叫天堂就叫它天堂好了』

(We are a fierce and dirty band of cutthroat pirates! Keep a sharp lookout Matey. We want no sissy girls on our ship! We don't like girls? Of course not dummy! We're a murderous bunch of pirates, remember?! Who do we smooch then?)
『我们是一帮凶恶残暴的嗜血海盗！』
『盯紧点儿，伙计，别让那些胆小没用的女孩上船』
『我们不喜欢女孩？』
『那当然了，笨蛋！咱们是杀人如麻的海盗，你忘了啊？』
『那咱们该亲吻谁呢？』

(What did you bring for show and tell Susie? I brought a letter I wrote to our congressman. What did you bring? A bag of dead bugs I collected from our window sills. Best of all, this way mom didn't have to pack me a lunch!)
『今天的口语课你准备秀什么，苏茜？』
『给议员的一封信』
『你呢？』
『从窗台上收集的一堆死虫子』
『还有呢，妈都不用给我准备午餐了！』

(We'll Hobbes, we did it again. We're separated from the troop and hopelessly lost. Fortunately, our motto is "Be prepared." With this full backpack we can stay out here for weeks! Just so long as we don't get hungry.)
『霍布斯，咱又回这儿了，看来是和大部队失散，彻底迷路了』
『不过还好，咱们的座右铭就是“有备无患”』
『瞧我带的这满满一包，就是在这待上几星期都没问题！』
『只要我们肚子不饿就没问题』

(I'm home from school! So I gathered. Hobbes? Yaaaaah! Aaaaugh! Tiger attack! Calvin! Quit crashing around! Hobbes jumped me Mom! I was fighting for my very survival!! Sure Calvin. Look, I don't want to sew Hobbes up again, so why don't you two go do something quiet? Okay, okay ... You sissy. Mom always takes your side! That's because she wanted another tiger,not you!)
『妈，我回来啦』
『没看没见我正收拾东西吗』
『霍布斯？』
『啊！！』
『啊～～～老虎扑！』
*呯嗙呯嗙呯嗙
『卡尔文，别折腾了！』
『是霍布斯，他先扑我的！为了求生我才反击的』
『唉，卡尔文，我可不想再缝霍布斯了，你俩还是做些温和点的游戏吧，好吗？』
『好吧好吧』
『你这娘娘腔，妈妈老是偏袒你！』
『因为她想再要只老虎，可不想再要个儿子！』

1985.12.30-1986.01.05

(It says here that by the age of six ... most children have seen a million murders on television. I find that very disturbing! It means I've been watching all the wrong channels.)
『报纸上说年满六岁……』
『……的大多数小孩都在电视上目睹了数以百万计的凶杀案件』
『太不可思议了吧』
『看来我大部分时候都没调对台』

(I'm not eating this green stuff. Yecchh! Good idea, Calvin. It's a plate of toxic waste that will turn you into a mutant if you eat it. Mmmm. Scrape. Urf. Smack. There has got to be a better way to make him eat! Ahhh ... I can feel it working.)
『我才不吃这绿乎乎的东西，呃～』
『干得好，开尔文，其实这是一盘有毒废料，吃了会发生变异的！』
*狼吞虎咽中~
『啊～～～已经开始变异了……』
『让他吃饭该有更好的办法吧？』

(Dad, how come you live in this house with mom ... instead of an apartment with several scantily clad female roommates? Boy! Ask a simple question, and get all your television privileges revoked.)
『爸，你是怎么和妈住到一个房子里的呢？』
『怎么没和一群衣衫不整的女人们住在一起？』
『唉！就问了个简单的问题，怎么就不让看电视了？』

(Hobbes, have you ever kissed a girl? A few I guess. Really? What was it like? Mmmmmmmm Pop! ... only a lot more so! Gaack! I was hoping it wouldn't be so fuzzy ...)
『霍布斯，你吻过女孩吗？』
『我记得吻过几次』
『真的吗？什么感觉？』
*嚒～～～啊～～～啪
『……比这个再好一点～』
『天哪！希望女孩脸上没这么多毛……』

(What do you find attractive in women, Hobbes? Well, I've always been partial to redheads ... with green eyes. I like green eyes ... and whiskers! Long whiskers! Let's change the subject.)
『霍布斯，你觉得女人的魅力在哪儿？』
『嗯，我最喜欢满头红发……』
『……还有绿色的眼睛，对，我喜欢绿眼睛』
『……还要有胡须，长长的胡须！』
『咱们换个话题好了』

(Having transformed myself into a werewolf, I search for human sacrifice! Hi Dad! Mm ... hello. Calvin, stop that disgusting drooling!)
『我现在是狼人了，我要找个人类，把他撕碎！』
『嗨，爸』
『嗯……好』
『开尔文，别再流口水了，太恶心了！』

(I love winter days. They're so peaceful. Ha ha! Gotcha Susie! Hey, you dummy! You'll never be able to throw a snow ball that big! Ha! Stupid girl! Hey, what are you doing? Get away. Hey! Put me down! Where are you taking me?! Hey! Hey! Chunk.)
『我喜欢冬天，多平静啊！』
『哈，苏茜，打中你啦！』
『嘿！傻瓜！这么大的雪球，你丟得动吗？哈，笨蛋！』
『嘿，干嘛？别过来！』
『嘿！放下！把我带哪去？嗨！嗨！』
*哐！

1985.12.23-1985.12.29

(Hey! Where's the stocking for Hobbes? Where's Santa gonna stick Hobbes' loot, if Hobbes doesn't have a stocking?!? Okay, okay ... I'll make Hobbes a stocking. Don't worry. Make it big, but not as big as mine. "...Hobbes' loot"?? don't look at me! I'm done shopping!)
『嘿！怎么没有霍布斯的圣诞袜子？』
『圣诞老人给他的礼物该放哪啊？』
『好好好……这就替霍布斯弄袜子去』
『一定要个大的，不过别比我的还大』
『……“霍布斯”的礼物怎么办？』
『别看我！好容易才把东西买齐了……』

(Are you still awake? Of course! It's midnight. Let's go! As soon as he drops the bag down, you grab it and I'll close the flue!)
『没睡吧？』
『当然啦』
『半夜啦，行动！』
『他一放下背包，你就上去抢，我把烟道关上！』

(Uh, Hobbes? ... I forgot to get you a present. I didn't even make you a card ... I'm sorry Hobbes. I didn't mean to forget. It's okay, little buddy. I didn't get you anything either. But here's a tiger hug for being my best friend. Not so hard, you big sissy. You squeeze my tears out. Merry Christmas.)
『嗯，霍布斯？……我没给你准备礼物，连张祝福卡片都没有……』
『抱歉，霍布斯，我不是故意要忘记的』
『没关系兄弟，我不也没给你准备礼物吗』
『不过这儿有一个老虎的拥抱，给我最好的朋友！』
『别这么使劲儿，傻瓜，把我弄得眼泪都掉下来了』
『圣诞快乐！』

(How long do you think it is till bedtime? Oh, six or seven hours, I imagine. Why do you ask? With any luck, mom will notice we're missing by then.)
『你说睡觉时间还剩多久？』
『嗯，我想还有六七个小时吧』
『怎么想起问这个？』
『顺利的话，妈那时候会发现我们不见了』

(Calvin! What are you doing to the coffee table?!? Is this some sort of trick question, or what?)
『开尔文！在咖啡桌上干什么？！！？』
……
『是脑筋急转弯吗？还是想问别的？』

(Hey Calvin, you want to play "house"? I don't know. How do you play? Okay ... first, you come home from work. Then I come home from work. We'll gripe about our jobs, and then we'll argue over whose turn it is to microwave dinner.)
『嗨，开尔文，咱们玩过家家吧？』
『不知道，怎么个玩法？』
『嗯……你先下班回家，然后我也下班回家』
『抱怨一会工作上的事，然后讨论一下谁来准备晚餐』

(Very grim, Calvin. You're still having oatmeal. Gurgle. Quit playing with your oatmeal and eat it, Calvin. Gagpth! I'm free! Bugh! Yaah! Death to oatmeal! You'll never escape, vile glop! Die! Die! Calvin! Quit! ... oh no ... It's your fault we didn't have a sweet little girl! Your stupid chromosome!! Not mine!! ... I just live here.)
『开尔文，燕麦粥怎么还没吃完？』
『咯咯』
『别玩了，快把燕麦粥喝光』
『呕！！解放喽！嘣！』
『呀！！～～去死吧，臭燕麦粥！』
『你跑不掉的！死吧！去死吧！』
『开尔文，别闹了！……噢，天啊……』
『都怪你，生个乖巧可爱的女儿该有多好！都怪你可恶的染色体！！都怪你！』
『……就连住在这儿都不对了……』

1985.12.09-1985.12.15

（Oh, Mary, you look ravishing in that skimpy negligee! Mmm ... darling, don't you wish we were married? But we are! ... or did you mean to each other? I've got to have you! Let's murder our spouses! Murder?! You sick animal! I love it when you talk that way! Come here! Sometimes I think I learn more when I stay home from school.）
『噢，玛丽，你穿着这件小睡衣简直太迷人了！』
*亲～亲～
『嗯……亲爱的，有没有想过要是我们结了婚就好了？』
『……我们确实都结婚了啊！……你是说我们俩结婚？』
*亲～亲～
『我一定要得到你！我们把各自的配偶干掉吧！』
『干掉？！……简直禽兽不如！不过我喜欢你这样讲话，来吧！』
*亲～亲～
『有时候我觉得在家比在学校学的东西还多』

(Mom, can I set fire to my bed mattress? No, Calvin. Can I ride my tricycle on the roof? No, Calvin. Then can I have a cookie? No, Calvin. She's on to me.)
『妈，我把床垫烧了行吗？』
『不行，开尔文』
『在屋顶上骑车行吗？』
『不行，开尔文』
『吃块饼干行吗？』
『不行，开尔文』
『她是跟我卯上了』

(No, Mom! Don't put me to bed! I instructed Hobbes to messily devour anyone who brings me in before 9 p.m.! Your stuffed tiger is in the washing machine. Fine time to take a bath! Listen, just because you never take one ...)
『不要，妈！别逼我睡觉！』
『我让霍布斯吃掉任何9点以前让我睡觉的人！』
『你的玩具老虎在洗衣机里呢』
『你洗澡可真会挑时间！』
『切！澡都不洗的人也好意思说……』

(Did you watch the movie on TV last night? Nope. Did you watch the game then? Nope. Did you watch any TV last night? Nope. Then what did you watch?)
『昨晚上电视上演的电影你看了吗？』
『没』
『那比赛你看了吗？』
『没』
『昨晚上根本没看电视？』
『没』
『好吧，那你看什么了？』

(Insurance?? What a dumb idea! Why would anyone buy insurance from you?!? Thwping!)
*出售保险——五十元
『卖保险？这主意蠢到家了』
『有谁会买你的保险呢？』
*啪！

(Hello, Dad! It is now three in the morning. Do you know where I am?)
『喂，老爸！凌晨三点了哦，知道我在哪儿吗？』

(We join our hero Megazorks above the planet Gloob ... Spaceman Spiff, conqueror of the cosmos, is pursued by the conqueror beings of planet Q-13! Spiff hyper-freem drive malfunctions! The aliens close in! suddenly, a searing bolt of deadly fram ray slices across the blackness! Our hero is unfazed. Another bolt! Spiff is hit!! Spiff is going down can he make it?? Is this the end?!? AAAAAA Spiff's alive! He made it!! I'm alive! Ha ha ha! I kiss the sweet ground! Maybe you should play on the swings, Calvin.)
*现在让我们跟随大英雄麦格佐客拜访格鲁伯星球……
『宇宙的征服者——宇航员斯皮夫，正在受到Q-13星球舰队的追杀！』
『斯皮夫的飞船失去了控制！怪物的舰队渐渐逼近了！』
『突然，一道死亡射线划破黑暗直奔斯皮夫的飞船，幸运的是我们的英雄奇迹般的躲开了』
『又是一道！斯皮夫的飞船被击中了！』
『斯皮夫的飞船眼看就要追坠毁了！他能死里逃生吗？传奇还会继续吗？』
『啊～～～～』
『斯皮夫还活着！他成功了！』
『我还活着！哈！哈！哈！我要亲吻这片可爱的土地！』
『你该去试试荡秋千，开尔文』

1985.12.16-1985.12.22

(Calvin, are you going to take that stuffed tiger to school again? Sure. Don't the kids make fun of you? Tommy Chesnut did once, and now nobody does. Why, what happened to Tommy Chesnut? Hobbes ate him! Ugh! He needed a bath too ...)
『开尔文，又要带着玩具老虎去学校吗？』
『对啊』
『别的小朋友不笑话你吗？』
『汤米笑过一次，不过现在没人笑了』
『哦？汤米怎么又不笑了？』
『霍布斯把它给吃了！』
『呃～这家伙也真该好好洗个澡……』

(Calvin! What's all this noise?! You're supposed to be asleep! Monsters under the bed Dad! I was whacking one with my baseball bat! Goodness Calvin, it's just your stuffed tiger! You should put away your toys! Sorry, ol' buddy, good thing I missed occasionally, huh? Yeah, let me see your bat a minute.)
『开尔文！怎么这么吵？赶紧睡觉！』
『床底下有怪物，老爸！我正用球棒扁他呢！』
『天哪，开尔文，是你的玩具老虎！你该把玩具都放好！』
『抱歉，伙计，我偶尔也会失手的，对吧？』
『好吧，轮到我拿球棒了』

(Here comes the sports car at 200 miles per hour! Here comes the cement truck! Look out! And here comes an inflammable chemical truck! Oh no!! This ought to be good.)
『一辆跑车以200迈的速度飞奔着！』
『迎面驶来一辆运水泥的卡车！小心！』
『又来了一辆运送易燃化学品的卡车！噢不！！』
『这也没什么可稀奇的』

(Calvin! What are you doing to our yard?!? Making speed bumps.)
『开尔文！你在院子里干什么哪！？』
『在挖减速带啊』

(I wonder where we go when we die. Pittsburgh? You mean if we're good or if we're bad?)
『不知道人死了会去哪里』
……
『匹兹堡?』
『你是说好人还是坏人？』

(We're lost again. Ha! We're brave explorers! The word lost isn't even in our vocabulary! How about the word "Mommy"? Mommmyyy!!)
『我们又迷路了』
『哈！我们是勇敢的探路者！』
『我的字典里根本没有“迷路”这个词』
『那“妈”这个词呢？』
『妈～～～！』

(There! Our fortress is completely indestructible! "Sunny and warmer today, high in the upper thirties ... " Our snow fort is impenetrable! At the slightest provocation, we'll let loose a merciless barrage of stinging ice!! None dare attack us! We rule all!! Together, a veritable fist of defiance, we stand immune to any onslaught! We are invincible!! We ... uh ... umm ... piff!)
『哈！我们的冰雪要塞坚不可摧！』
『“今日晴暖天气，最高温度超过30度……”』
『我们的冰雪要塞是不可战胜的！』
『任何一点挑衅行为，都会受到我们无情的猛烈的雪球袭击！』
『没人敢惹我们！我们主宰一切！』
『我们的组合是最强的，是绝对不可战胜的！』
『我们是无敌的！！我们……啊……嗯……』
*啪！

1985.11.25-1985.12.01

（Any monsters under my bed tonight!! Well there'd better not be! I'd hate to have to torch one with my flame thrower! You have a flame thrower?? They lie. I lie.）
『床底下有怪物吗？！』
『没有……没……没有』
『好吧，最好什么都没有，本来打算用火焰喷射器烧怪物玩的！』
『你有火焰喷射器？』
『他们先骗我的』

（Mom, can I drive on the way back? Of course not, Calvin. Can I just steer then? I promise I won't crash. No, Calvin. Can I work the gas and brakes while you steer? No, Calvin. You never let me do anything.）
『妈妈，回来时候能让我开车吗？』
『当然不行啦，开尔文』
『那我只把方向盘行吗？保证不会撞车』
『不行，开尔文』
『那我帮你踩加油、踩刹车行吗？』
『想都别想，开尔文』
『什么你都不让我干』

（Here we find a thriving city: brand new buildings, a bustling economy. A scenic thoroughfare winds through this happy municipality. Here, a farmer drives his livestock to market. Tragically, this serene metropolis lies directly beneath the Hoover dam...）
『我们在这里建立了一座繁荣的城市：崭新的大楼，繁忙而兴旺……』
『漂亮的大道贯穿整个欢乐的都市，在这儿，一个农夫正把他的牛羊运往市场……』
『不幸的是，这座平静的大都市座落在胡佛水坝下面……』

（This smells like bat barf! That does it, young man! You are excused to your room! Don't you think that's a little harsh, dear? He'll get hungry. Calvin has got to learn some manners! He won't starve to death. ...and extra pepperoni!）
『这东西闻着就恶心！』
『够了！臭小子，回房间去！』
『亲爱的，会不会太严厉了点儿？会把他饿坏的』
『开尔文必须学会有礼貌！少吃一顿饿不死的』
『再来一份意大利辣肠！！』

（We'll see what the principal has to say about your attention span, young man! The valiant Spaceman Spiff has been captured! The aliens doubtlessly want the secret formula to the atomic napalm neutralizer! Moments from the torture chamber, Spiff springs into action! Why is he eating his hall pass?）
『小家伙，你又溜号了，看看校长怎么说你？』
『伟大的宇航员斯皮夫被抓住了！』
『怪物肯定是想要原子爆裂弹的设计公式！』
『剩下的时间不多了，斯皮夫必须行动了！』
『他干嘛把自己的学生证嚼了？』

（Do you believe in fate? You mean, that our lives are predestined? Yeah ... that the things we do are inevitable. What a scary thought!）
『你信命吗？』
『你是说，未来早就注定了，对吗？』
『是啊……所有一切都无可避免』
『这想法真可怕！』

（No! goodness, what was all that fuss? Oh, Calvin didn't want to take his bath. What a noisy kid! I'm doomed. I can't believe my own parents would do this to me! AH-HA! I've got you now, kid! AAUGH! Help! Quick! Momm! HA HA HA! Have a drink! Hellp! Gurgle blub. Calvin! Quiet down and quit splashing! I don't want to have to clean the whole bathroom. Ha! I pulled the plug! Down the drain with you! Die, fiend! Die, die!! Don't tell me he's letting out the water already! Believe it lady.）
『不！……不、不、不、不、不、不、不……』
『什么事这么惊天动地的？』
『开尔文说什么也不洗澡，这孩子真难缠！』
『我完蛋了，爸妈怎么能这样对我呢！』
『啊－哈！终于落我手里了，臭小子！』
『啊——救命啊！妈！』
『哈 哈 哈！淹死你！臭小子！』
『救——命！咕噜咕噜——』
『别闹啦！开尔文！把水溅得到处都是。我可不想把整个浴室再清理一遍！』
『哈！塞子被我拔掉了！滚回下水道吧！你这个臭妖怪！』
『啊——啊——』
『你不会把洗澡水都放了吧！』
『信不信由你，女士』

1985.11.18-1985.11.24

(So long Pop! I'm off to check my tiger trap! I rigged a tuna fish sandwich yesterday, so I'm sure to have a tiger by now! They like tuna fish, huh? Tigers will do anything for a tuna fish sandwich. We're kind of stupid that way. Munch Munch)
『一会见，老爸，我去看看抓老虎的绳套！』
『昨天我在绳套里放了块金枪鱼三明治，现在肯定已经有老虎上钩了！』
『老虎喜欢吃金枪鱼？』
『为了金枪鱼三明治，老虎会不惜一切代价的！』
『谁都有弱点啊』

(So Dad, what do I do when I catch a tiger? Bring it home and stuff it Calvin! Can't you see I'm busy? Sheesh. No, really, I couldn't eat another bite!)
『老爸，万一我逮到老虎，该拿他怎么办呢？』
『把它带回家，喂得饱饱的，开尔文，没看见我正忙吗？』
『这孩子……』
『不要了，真的，一点也吃不进去了』

(What's all this noise? You're supposed to be asleep! It was Hobbes, Dad! He was jumping on the bed! Honest! "Hobbes" was not jumping on the bed! Now go to sleep! You were too jumping on the bed! Well, you were the one playing the cymbals!!)
『怎么还这么大动静？赶紧睡觉！』
『是霍布斯，老爸！他在床上乱蹦来着，真的！』
『“霍布斯”根本没这本事！赶快睡觉！』
『就是你，在床上乱蹦！』
『那你还打钹了呢！！』

(Show and tell is over, Calvin. Please put your "tiger" in your locker. In my locker?! He'll suffocate! Well, at least put him under your chair. Whey! That was a close one! I'll say! Sever plus three. Seventy-three.)
『看图讲故事结束了，开尔文。把你的“老虎”收到小柜子里去』
『放小柜子里？里面闷死了！』
『好吧，那至少放凳子底下』
『唷!这儿还算近』
『没错』
『7+3是多少？』
『73』

(Good night, Calvin. 'night Dad! Hey! Aren't you going to say good night to Hobbes?! Good night, Hobbes. That's it?! No story? No smooch?? Go to sleep, you sissy.)
『晚安，开尔文』
『晚安，老爸！』
『嗨！你还没跟霍布斯道晚安呢！』
『晚安，霍布斯』
『这就完了？不讲故事吗？不抱抱吗？』
『睡吧，别像个女孩儿似的』

(What's this? Taste it. You'll love it. You know you'll hate something when they won't tell you what it is.)
『这都是些啥啊？』
『尝尝看，你会爱吃的』
『都没人告诉你是什么，你绝对不会想吃它们的』

(Outrage! Why should I go to bed? I'm not tired! It's only 7:30! This is tyranny! I'm ZZZZ Good night, Calvin. Will you check for monsters under the bed? No monsters. You're safe. What about the dresser? Calvin, I'm sure there are no monsters in your dresser. Go to sleep. Great. I'll bet that's where they all are. They'll come out and kill us as soon as we fall asleep. So who's going to fall asleep? Well, we'll just have to get the monsters first. You irritate them with this horn, and I'll nail 'em with my dart gun when they come out. Get ready! I hear one coming! What's all the noise?! AAIEEE!! A monster in the hallway!! Dear will you come up here a minute? I think I wounded him. Give me the bat and I'll finish him off!)
『晚安，开尔文』
『帮我看看床底下有没有怪物行吗？』
『什么怪物也没有，很安全』
『那柜子里呢？』
『开尔文，柜子里肯定没怪物，放心睡吧』
『这下好了，我敢打赌怪物就躲在屋子里某个地方，等我们一睡着，他们就会跑出来杀死我们』
『谁先睡？』
『好吧，我们得先把怪物引出来，你使劲捏这喇叭，等他们一露头，我马上用射镖枪射它们……快准备！我听见动静了！』
『为什么这么吵？！』
『啊……呀……大怪物进来了！！』
『亲爱的，出来跟我聊几分钟好吗』
『看来我打中它了，把棒子给我，我去把它干掉』

1985.12.02-1985.12.08

（Bad news, dad. Your polls are way down. My polls? You rate especially low among tigers and six-year-old white males. If you want to stay "Dad" I'd suggest you adopt some key planks to your platform. Some special interest groups are in for a surprise. Of those polled, virtually all flavor increased allowances and the commencement of driving lessons.）
『老爸，不好了，你的民调支持率下降了』
『民调支持率？』
『在老虎和六岁白人男孩中支持率尤其的低』
『要连任“老爸”，还是来点新的关键性政策吧』
『一些特殊利益集团的出现还真是意外呢』
『大众的呼声很集中——增加零用钱&批准学车』

（There's a new girl in our class. Well! What's her name? Who knows? Is she nice? Who cares? Not me! Do you like her?? No!）
『我们班新来了一个女孩』
『好啊，她叫什么？』
『我怎么知道？』
『她漂亮吗？』
『我才不管！』
『你喜欢她？？』
『不！』

（Here comes that new girl. Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a 'possum stuck in your collar? I hope you suffer a debilitating brain aneurysm, you freak! She's cute, isn't she?? Go away.）
『是新来的女孩儿』
『苏茜，是你吗？你的头就像田鼠！』
『长脑瘤去吧！你这怪胎！』
『她蛮可爱的，对吧？』
『一边去』

（Hi Calvin. Mind if I join you for lunch? Yes. I have soup today. What do you have? A squid eyeball sandwich. You do not! Don't be disgusting. I like to suck out the retinas. Miss Wormwood! Care for a bite? Or were you leaving?）
『嗨，卡尔文，一起吃午饭吧？』
『好啊』
『我今天带了汤，你呢？』
『乌贼眼球三明治』
『什么？你真恶心！』
『吮吸视网膜感觉很爽的』
『温华华德小姐！』
『尝尝吗？要么赶紧走？』

（You can't come up here, Susie! No girls allowed. What on earth makes you think I'd want to sit up in a stupid tree in the first place?!? Leave it to a girl, to take all the fun out of sex discrimination.）
『别上来，苏茜！女孩是不允许上来的』
『你怎么会觉得我就非想要坐在那破树上呢』
『……』
『拿性别歧视打趣取乐的事，还是留给女孩去做吧』

（Wheee! Houston, we have a negative on that orbit trajectory.）
『休斯顿，我们偏离了运行轨道』

（Our hero, the valiant Spaceman Spiff, is marooned on a strange world ... I'll set my Mertilizer on "deep fat fry." Calvin! You're not paying attention! ... we join Spaceman Spiff on the distant planet Zorg ... Gronk! Argh! Trapped by a hideous Graknil, Spiff draws his trusty atomic napalm neutralizer! Chew electric death snarling cur! But the weapon is useless! Spiff is doomed!! Our hero makes a break and ducks into a nearby cave! Weeoo! What's that awful smell? Eep! Who was that? Beats me, Fred.）
*我们的大英雄，勇敢的宇航员，斯皮夫，正孤身奋战在一个怪异的星球……
『让我把武器调到“深度灼烧”档』
『开尔文，你又溜号了！』
*……还是回到斯皮夫在遥远佐格星球上的战斗……
『糟糕』
* 被格雷怪兽逼到死角的斯皮夫，掏出了原子中和抢
『吃我一枪！』
*这一枪似乎没对怪兽起作用！斯皮夫再次陷入险境！！
*我们的英雄瞅准机会，冲进了附近的一个山洞
『咦！什么味这么难闻？』
『谁？』
『拍我一下，弗雷德』